Here's Clay Shirkey from York University talking about how we are heavily influenced by our own parenting:
"Because anything that you grew up with that you thought was normal, and your parents grew up with and thought was normal, doesn’t just seem like it was normal for two generations. It seems like God wrote it down. Like it was in Leviticus.”
I like Clay's point.
It's important to remember "Normal" is relative to time, and culture. It especially helps to remember this when our kids don't seem to be doing or wanting to do what we think is "normal".
What is often true is that our young people are different from us and our parents. But our parents and ourselves were different from their parents, and their parents. The behaviour of young people is changing all the time.
"Normal" is less important than "workable". What is working for our kids - and what isn't? Let's focus on that.