Autonomy-supportive parenting is a style of caregiving that emphasizes the nurturing of a child or young person’s ability to make their own choices, be self-reliant, and develop their own values and interests which guide their behaviours.

What might autonomy supportive parenting might actually look like on a day-to-day basis seems to vary according different writers on this topic.  Here are some of the common types of behaviours psychologists refer to as “autonomy supportive”…

Emotion recognition can be thought of as the ability to identify and understand emotions in other people.  This skill has been referred to by some researchers as ‘cognitive empathy’ (as contrasted with ‘affective’ empathy – with the latter being the ability ‘feel’ or relate to emotions experienced by others).  We might also contrast ‘cognitive empathy’ or ‘emotion recognition’ with the concept of ‘emotional awareness’ (and there is variation in how all these terms are used) – which has often been used to refer to person’s ability to notice and understand their own emotions.  Finally, both emotion recognition and emotional awareness are of course precursors to the more complex skills often referred to of emotion regulation - effectively managing and responding to emotions (in ourselves or others)…

I’ve worked as a psychologist with our team to support children and young people for over 25 years and have over the last decade I’ve seen a significant increase in the number of parents who seek  mental health treatment for their children and young people.  While therapy is not a magic fix, I do believe it can be an important step towards improving young people’s emotional well-being.  

Unfortunately what many parents I’ve talked with do not always realize is that their involvement in their children's therapy may be just as important as the child or young people’s own attendance at therapy sessions…

As a psychologist working with children and young people, I meet *parents* (for brevity I’ll use ‘parents’ throughout this article, but I’m referring of course to all primary caregivers, biological parents or not) every week who are struggling with parenting related negative emotions and experiences such as parental stress, guilt, fatigue, frustration, anxiety and overwhelm. There is also a plethora of academic and research literature documenting the existence of these experiences…

Around 10% to 15% of young people experience difficulties with aggression, impulsivity, following instructions and other challenging or disruptive behaviors – well beyond what the average child or young person of their same age experiences.  What this looks like in their daily life varies considerably from child to child – but usually these kids and teens seem to get frustrated more easily than others, find it really tough to manage this frustration and often yell/scream/throw things.  Some might also have low motivation to follow instructions from adults, and some might consistently act deceitfully or frequently break school and home rules…