1. Empathise

See the anger as distress.  Be present with them for a minute and care about them, without immediately trying to "fix it" and without trying to insist they calm down.  You might say things like: 

• I’m really sorry you are feeling ………..
• Oh, I really wish we could change it so that you COULD have/do/be……
• It really sucks that ………..
• I think I would probably feel …………. too in that situation
• Oh no, how disappointing and frustrating….
• This is obviously easier to do if the child is angry at something/someone other than yourself.  It is harder when they are angry at you: but still possible.  Sentences which might work include:
• I wish I could decide differently about that…
• It would be great if I could just let you….
• I’m so sorry you are feeling like this…
• I can see how upset you are, I wish it was different…

In the heat of a full on tantrum….

Getting scared is a normal and important part of child development.  When children get scared they learn to understand risk, evaluate threat and manage emotions.  They learn these skills regardless of what they are scared about.  In other words: Children being scared about the dark are in training for managing fear as an adult.  Here are 8 ideas to keep in mind about fear in children.

1. We should explain (many times) to children that fear is a normal part of being a person.  From time to time, tell children that all adults (including their mum and dad) get scared sometimes.  In a matter of fact way, talk about what happens when people get scared – their hearts beat fast and they breathe quickly and sometimes their hands shake a little bit.   

Parents report that fights amongst brothers and sisters are one of the most painful parts of parenting. Some research has found that, depending on their age, on average, kids fight for about 10 minutes of every hour they play together.   There are no quick and easy solutions to sibling conflict, but I've listed a few key ideas to keep in mind.

1.  It's normal

All siblings fight. Actually, all animals fight. We have a built in instinct to fight to get what we want and to try to be dominant in some way. Adults have similar feelings of annoyance and displeasure with people, it is just that we have learnt to hide it! So if your children argue, bicker and fight with each other, you are not alone.   And your kids are normal. 

Research shows that adults often underestimate how often kids get worried and sad – most children experience anxiety and sadness on a regular basis, some more than others.  This is not all bad - getting worried and sad helps kids develop important skills.  However adults need to coach them to develop these coping skills. 

Here are some of these strategies.

In the last 100 years there has been over 32 national sets of guidelines as to how much sleep we need. The scientific evidence about exactly how much sleep need is still being debated, and it certainly varies quite a bit between people.  However, almost all sleep experts recommend that teenagers need between 7.5 and 9 hours of sleep each night.

How do you know if your teenager is getting enough sleep?  The best guide is sleepiness.  If teens are sleepy in the morning and have trouble waking up and feel sleepy during the day, this is a good indication that they are sleep deprived.  To be honest, most teenagers I meet are sleep deprived - and they know it and feel it on a daily basis.