Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: What is it, where did it come from, does it matter and how to develop it
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What is Autonomy-Supportive Parenting?
Autonomy-supportive parenting (ASP) is a style of caregiving that emphasizes the nurturing of a child or young person’s ability to make their own choices, be self-reliant, and develop their own values and interests which guide their behaviours.
History - How This Concept Was Introduced and How is it conceptualised today
The first reference to ‘psychological autonomy’ with regards to parenting came from a series of studies in the 60’s conducted by Earl Schaefer and colleagues. This group of researchers identified a group of negative, controlling parenting behaviours - such as inducing guilt, shaming and providing love only when children acted in certain ways – and created a scale to measure the extent of these behaviours in parents. They labelled one end of this scale as “psychological control” and the other end as “psychological autonomy”. It should be noted these authors didn’t actually define psychological autonomy nor even identify specific psychologically autonomy supportive behaviours but this initial thinking on this topic served as an introduction to the idea of autonomy support.
Fifteen years later in the late 70’s, this concept was revisited when a psychologist called Bios in 1979 proposed his “separation-individuation theory”. This theory proposed that to achieve mentally healthy functioning, adolescents needed to a) distance themselves and feel separate from parents, b) develop independent views, and c) make decisions on their own – and that parents need to be “autonomy supportive” for this to all occur.
Although this theory appeared sound on the face of it - research since that time has suggested that teens who feel more independent and perceive a greater sense of ‘separation’ from their parents do not always have better mental health, and in fact the link between these concepts appears somewhat weak.
Another decade later in the 1980’s, attention on autonomy supportive parenting re-emerged – this time in conjunction with the development of Self-Determination Theory (SDT) as created by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. SDT posits that one of the three most important drivers of human behaviour and predictors of well-being is the ‘seeking of autonomy’ (with the other two of these drivers/predictors being ‘social connection’ and ‘competence’). Deci and Ryan suggested however that ‘autonomy’ was not the same as the ‘independence’ as defined by Bios’ Separation-individuation theory but instead is an individual’s ability to act according to their own values and goals. Autonomy supportive parenting according to SDT therefore is about supporting a young persons’ ability to act in ways which is aligned with their own values and goals, rather than just about supporting a young person to be independent.
To take a practical example – a parent focussed on promoting independence in a teenager might tell the teenager that they need to cook, clean and shop for their own clothes now because they do not have time/are unwilling to do this for them/they should do it given their age. A parent focussed on supporting autonomy (sometimes call promoting ‘volitional functioning’ in the literature) in a teenager, might instead talk with the teen about the benefits of them acting independently, find out which of these benefits appeal to the teen, ask them about how and when they might start acting independently in these ways which are in line with their own interests and desires.
It's interesting to note that some authors have noted that this concept of autonomy support or ‘promoting volitional functioning’ – rather than the concept of independence per se - may be more relevant within some culturally and ethnically diverse families and societies who do not value individualism and independence as highly as other cultures.
What are the specific behaviours which have been conceptualised as autonomy supportive parenting?
What might autonomy supportive parenting might look like on a day-to-day basis seems to vary according to different writers on this topic. In order to obtain a common list of specific autonomy supportive behaviours, I perused the items used in assessment tools proposing to measure autonomy supportive parent - some of these assessment tools are self-report measures for parents (asking them to reflect on the frequency of their autonomy parenting behaviours), but more often these are questionnaires for children and teens about their perceptions of their parents behaviours (e.g. P- P-PASS - perception of parental autonomy support scale). Less commonly, there are also some observational coding measures used to assess ASP behaviours in parents interacting with younger children.
When you look at the individual items in these measures there are some common types of items. I’ve summarized these below:
· Efforts to understand a child/teen’s perspective and frame of reference (including as they change as they develop)
· Behaviours which encourage initiative and personal exploration (helping a child/teen do things they care about, want to do and make their life about)
· Asking questions about - and making efforts to understand and help develop – a young person’s own opinions and desires and values
· Providing choices wherever possible to children with giving them instructions
· Communication of a meaningful rationale when constraining choices
· Fostering task meaning (helping a child find meaning (or enjoyment) in a task rather than being ‘bribed’ to do it or ‘punished’ for not doing it
· Provision of information about what will happen as a result of behaviours – rather than just providing consequences
· Encouraging children to do age-appropriate self-care activities
· Supporting children to spend time without parents present
Research linking Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Child/teen (and parent) Outcomes
In line with SDT theory, there is indeed an extensive body of research which links higher levels of autonomy-supportive parenting with a plethora of positive outcomes for children and young people – including higher well-being, better emotion regulation and better cognitive and educational outcomes, and lower levels with mental/emotional health problems. Here are a few key findings from this research which might be of particular interest to us as child mental health professionals:
1. Research generally finds a link between lower autonomy supportive parenting and higher levels of disruptive behaviours in kids, and furthermore also finds that increases in autonomy granting parenting over time predicts reductions in externalizing problems over the same period (although admittedly these associations are very small). Interestingly, some research suggests a subgroup of children have a higher than average ‘autonomy seeking temperament’ and that if these higher -autonomy-seeking-temperament kids experience lower than average levels of autonomy supportive parenting, this unfortunate combination is linked the development of higher irritability and ODD.
2. There have also been many studies linking low parental autonomy supportive parenting to higher levels of anxiety in children. It should be noted that in this body of research, often these parent behaviours are often not called ‘low autonomy support parenting but instead ‘overcontrolling parenting behaviours’. In practice however, when you actually look at the items on the two different types of scales measuring these two constructs, there appears to be a great deal of overlap in the items, suggesting the constructs are similar.
It should be noted however that other studies have failed to find links between higher autonomy granting and lower levels of anxiety so more research in this area is required.
3.Several studies have found higher levels of autonomy granting with lower levels of depression in young people. This ‘higher autonomy supportive parenting-lower child/teen depression’ relationship seems to be a particularly strong and robust one, especially in adolescence.
4. There have also been studies on autonomy supportive parenting in parents of autistic children and children with ADHD – and these studies generally find the same ‘higher ASP-positive child outcome relationships’ in the neurodivergent population as that which is found in the general population.
5. Finally, there are a number of studies which have linked higher levels of autonomy supportive parenting to higher, ‘parental need fulfillment’ – or in other words, satisfaction with parenting. This relationship has also been found on a day-to-day level – in other words, one study found the more ASP a parent does on any given day, the better they feel about their parenting that day.
Interventions Used to Improve Autonomy-Supportive Parenting
Given the research linking ASP and well-being, it is not surprising that many parent directed interventions designed to improve children’s mental health at least allude to a goal of increasing autonomy supportive parenting. For instance, a well-known social-behavioural parenting approach (Triple P) says one of the foundations is “to assist children to learn to solve problems for themselves.”, and the well-known attachment orientated parenting program (Circle of Security) states that Providing a secure base enables the “child to best meet their learning potential, develop skills, and build a sense of their own autonomy”.
However, some authors claim that the focus on autonomy supportive parenting in these programs is not explicit nor as strong as it could be, compared to other elements of these programs. In contrast, there are two programs which have been developed with autonomy support uppermost in mind. First, the The How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk group program, developed by Developed by Faber and Mazlish (1980 and then 2010). This program is based explicitly on SDT, and so – like SDT theory has a triple focus on autonomy support, ‘affiliation’ (relationship and warmth) and structure (consistency and guidelines) to develop competence.
I was interested in the content of the autonomy supportive sections of the program specifically – it included the following content: parents were taught to ask more questions and show interest in their children’s opinions, provide information about benefits of tasks they wanted their children to do, avoid punitive comments, and coached to help children to set their own goals. There has been one RCT examining this program - the results found it significantly increases autonomy supportive parenting behaviours (and parental warmth) compared to a wait list control.
The second parenting directed intervention focused specifically on autonomy supportive parenting ‘The Parent Check-In’ – was also based on SDT. This program is a two session (single family) intervention which included an initial interview/questionnaire completion and then a single session of psychoeducation and then autonomy support, structure, and involvement strategies (which were individually tailored to family’s situation and needs). Again, it might be instructive to consider the autonomy support portion of this intervention – parents were encouraged to recall experiences when they felt coerced or controlled in order to help them see the need for autonomy support and to try out suggested strategies including taking children’s perspectives, providing empathy, and introducing choice. The results showed parents who completed the program increased their autonomy supportive parenting significantly compared to parents not in the program.
Limitations of what we know so far
Given all the research above linking ASP with more positive outcomes for kids and parents, and the interventions listed above which increase ASP and similarly resulting in positive child and parent outcomes – you’d be forgiven for this to be a no brainer – we now must make sure we teach all the caregivers we work with the importance of ASP!
If so, you will not be alone - I’ve read a number of “parenting” blogs (even those written by psychologists) which say something like the following: Research shows that ASP is essential for children’s positive mental health.
Well, from having spent some time reading many articles on this topic - I have not yet read any research which convincingly “shows” this. While I’m not discounting the potential importance of this parenting behaviour, like all research on potentially helpful parenting behaviours, it seems to me that we should hold it all a bit lightly. Here are five reasons to be cautious.
1. Variation in individual study results
It’s worth noting that many studies in this area don’t find overwhelmingly large effect sizes. For instance, Vasquez et al.’s (2016) meta-analysis looking at ASP and child well-being concluded there was ‘substantial heterogeneity’ in results and Pinquart’s 2017 review found only ‘small’ effects of ASP on child well-being. Other studies find larger effects, but again – the underlying point here is that there is variation in study results.
2. Correlational data – and questions about causality
Even if all the research linking ASP and positive child/parent outcomes had consistently large effect sizes, these studies are all – as with all parenting research based on correlational /observational research design.
Hopefully this goes without saying, but just in case we all need a reminder – let’s remember that this design means it is quite possible that the established ASP-positive child outcome link occurs because of an opposite causal direction: ie that it is children’s higher levels of mental health difficulties which are the cause of lower autonomy supportive behaviours in their parents.
This theory has some credibility to it if one considers that children with more mental health difficulties may have less skill in acting in developmentally appropriate ways - and therefore need more close directing from parents. In fact, some longitudinal studies have found that increases in externalizing behaviours in younger children are linked to later reductions in autonomy granting behaviours in parents – suggesting that it might be that parents ‘give up’ being autonomy supportive when their children act in dangerous/difficult or challenging ways.
Even if it is not children’s difficulties which cause lower autonomy supportive behaviours in parents, it may be that the cause is some third factor (genetic/biological/environmental) – in other words perhaps one of these third factors is the cause of both more negative child outcomes and lower autonomy support.
3. Cultural differences
It’s also worth noting that the results of autonomy supportive parenting research may vary depending on the cultural context of the study. This is true for all research of course, but it may play an important part in this area. For instance, in more interdependent cultural contexts (for example, some Asian cultures) research suggests there appears to be a higher value placed on interdependence, group harmony and cohesion – and in these cultures, studies suggest that psychologically controlling parenting may be more common and also possibly less harmful than in more independent-oriented Western cultures
4. Variation in autonomy support within the same parent
As with all parenting characteristics, it’s likely way too simplistic to think of autonomy supportive parenting behaviours being stable (i.e. consistently and permanently low or high) in any given parent. For instance, studies have shown ASP increases (no surprises there) in parents as their children/young people get older and more capable of living their own lives. But more interestingly, studies have also suggested that there are significant daily fluctuations in autonomy supportive parenting behaviours (in fact some research shows more variation in ASP parenting on a daily basis than between parents).
5. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting might not be more important than other parenting behaviours
Even if ASP is important, I think it’s important to be cautious about emphasising it over other potentially positive (i.e. researched backed) parenting behaviours because we just don’t have much (or any) research which compares ‘head-to-head’ different types of positive parenting behaviours.
This is true of course for all parenting behaviours (e.g. including frequently researched ‘parental warmth/responsiveness’ group of parenting behaviours, as well as the parenting behaviours related to ‘structure/consistency’) associated with higher levels of well-being.
One Caveat: Some researchers have commented that ASP has been more frequently linked in the literature with higher levels of child intrinsic motivation for learning – compared to other positive parenting behaviours. However, my reading is that this comment appears to based on the type of research which happens to have been done (i.e. there are a lot of studies examining ASP and these constructs) rather than from studies which compare these positive parenting behaviours head-to-head.
Where does this leave us?
All the five “cautions” above is why I personally would hold back on claiming that research unequivocally shows “High ASP is essential for positive child mental health” (and hopefully also avoid being on this as yet another parenting ‘bandwagon’).
However, it is important to nevertheless recognise that there is a large body of (even correlational) research linking higher ASP to better outcomes for children’s well-being, as well as ASP focused interventions which have led to positive outcomes – which suggests that it is worth us seriously considering as mental health practitioners whether increasing ASP will be helpful for families.
Furthermore, I do wonder whether ASP should get more attention than it does in child mental health professional training - it seems to me that other parenting behaviours (such as warmth and responsiveness) get a lot more attention - when arguably the research for them is not vastly more persuasive than the research also linking ASP to improvements in child mental health.
The next question is – if we are to use it with families, how might we effective do that?
How might mental health professionals assist caregivers of children/teens with emotional health challenges to increase their ASP
As always, how we introduce concepts to families will depend greatly on our role and the family. But here are five ideas which might be useful:
1) Providing psychoeducation about the potential usefulness of ASP – in understandable, non-blaming, supportive ways
Here are some possible sentences which might be helpful for some families to understand the concept of ASP:
“One of the ways parents can support children – and possibly especially children with challenges is to help them feel more like they have choices, the ability to feel independent and to help them be able to figure things out for themselves. This is called autonomy supportive parenting and research suggests that when parents help children feel this way, bit by bit, these children might be more likely to have positive mental health.”
It is vital – like when we do any parenting psycho-education - to provide this information in ways which avoid increasing parental shame and blame. I do this by ensuring I comment on three factors in my psycho-education process:
a) acknowledging the positive parenting behaviour parents are already doing,
b) acknowledging that any kind of positive parenting behaviour is harder to do for some children than others
c) ensuring that parents/caregivers understand that any ‘lack’ of this positive parenting behaviour is not the cause of their child’s difficulties.
You might have seen this in other articles, but here’s an acronym I used to remember to make these points (ABC = Already doing great work, B=but hard with some kids, Cause kid’s difficulties is complex).
In the case of ASP therefore, I might add this type of set of sentences at some point during the work I’m doing with that parent.
Although I’m wondering whether it might be worth you and I talking about how you try to increase your autonomy support for John, let me just emphasise a couple of things – first I know you are already doing a lot of this in such great ways with him, so it might just be a tweak rather than a whole new way of supporting John. Second, I absolutely know that this is all easier said than done – especially for kids like John, increasing autonomy support is much harder to do than it is for some parents! Third, please remember that although I think this might be helpful for John, I don’t want you to think that I believe NOT doing this is in the cause of what is going on for John, as we’ve talked about before – there are lots of things that are contributing to John’s challenges at the moment. I hope this is clear – I want to make sure that even though we are going to be talking about some parenting behaviours here, I absolutely don’t want you to feel any sense of pressure or guilt as we talk about these ideas.
2) Helping parents understand what specific actions they might take to increase their ASP
As always, talking with parents/caregivers in a very general way about ASP is a good first step, but probably not sufficient to help them change behaviours. Instead, we usually need to identify specific behaviours parents might like to consider. In choosing which ASP behaviours to raise as possibilities, it might be helpful to revisit the list of ASP behaviours I listed earlier in this article. Here they are again, but in more parent-friendly (non-professional) and specific action language:
· Trying to think about what life is like from a young person’s perspective
· Recognizing the ways in which children/young people (CYP) have changed as they have got older
· Doing activities to help the CYP work out what kinds of things they care about and what matters to them - and then helping them do more of those things
· Asking questions about a young person’s opinions and desires
· Providing choices wherever possible to the CYP
· Providing information about why some things the CYP want are not possible (rather than just I said so)
· Helping CYP understand why – and what is meaningful about – things they have to do and would rather not
· Providing information about what we think will happen when they do behaviours we don’t think are a good idea
· Encouraging children to be kind to and look after themselves
· Helping children to spend time alone or with their peers without us present
We might ask parents/caregivers about how easier or difficult these items are for them in parenting their children and then ask them whether they feel like doing any of these would be useful.
3) Rehearsal/practice and specific plans for at home practice
Even when people are motivated to change, have specific behaviours in mind they want to enact – this is not usually enough to help them actually follow through with changing these behaviours.
What is often required is rehearsal, practice and specific plans to put these behaviours into practice.
This might mean breaking down a behaviour into specific sentences, practicing it with them in session and brainstorming how they might remember to do this at home, and discussing barriers.
For instance, if a parent and ourselves think that providing more choices to a CYP might be helpful for their mental health we might do the following:
What are some typical instructions or conversations you have with a CYP during a typical day or week that you might be able to add choices to?
- What are the sentences you might use when you are providing a choice?
- What are the ways you might remember to do this?
- Can we practice or role play a situation which might throw up some challenges for you when you are trying to provide a choice
Hopefully this gives some ideas about how you might introduce this concept, operationalize it and help parents/caregivers to practice and implement these ideas.
All the best in this sometimes neglected but potentially useful strategy for supporting parents/caregivers to support their young people’s mental health.
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